


Mahal's Gift - Or Maybe Curse

by Zeephyre



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Denial, Durincest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, My First Fanfic, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1506962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeephyre/pseuds/Zeephyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some rare male dwarves were given a gift the day they were born. Mahal thought every dwarf granted by his gift would be grateful and happy. The day he gave his precious gift to a young prince he didn't thought it would create such a despair in his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not with me, not with him

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone ! :) 
> 
> ~ First I think it's important for me to warn you that I'm NOT an english speaker ! So I'm a little bit (ok, very much) afraid of what you will think… 
> 
> ~~But now I have Legolaslover1 who is correcting me ! So much thanks to her for being my beta and doing such a great work ! :) 
> 
> ~ Second, I don't really know how this plot came to my mind because male pregnancy is something I found weird… But well… here I am ! :) ( Maybe I'm a little bit weird too ! ;) )

He didn’t see him coming nor did he hear him, and that’s why he was surprised when he heard Lord Elrond speak, and especially speak to him.

"Young Prince Kíli, may I have a word with you please?"

Astonished not only by the mention of his status but also by the fact that the elf spoke directly to him, Kíli glanced in a perplexed way at his companions. He saw the suspicious glare of both his brother and uncle. When Thorin finally shook his head positively but reluctantly, the archer walked near the elf.

"I – well – okay, let’s go"

He followed Lord Elrond silently as they walked through the corridors and finally the elf stopped on a little bridge offering a magnificent view of Rivendell. Embarrassed, Kíli leaned against a barrier as his fingers began to play nervously on its edge. He kept quiet, simply waiting for the elf to begin.

With his eyes on the horizon Lord Elrond asked, in a surprisingly gentle voice, "How are you, Kíli? I mean is this quest too exhausting for you?" Despite his surprise the young prince managed to answer with a clear voice "No. I’m fine. Really fine. I know this quest is not without danger but it’s really important for us all. I wouldn’t want to be somewhere else for anything in the world."

"Your courage and loyalty to your uncle are something I admire, young Prince."

"That’s not the only reason why. Fíli and I have always dreamed of the day we would take back our fathers’s city"

"I understand. But will you really risk both your lives for this? Does this quest mean more to you than both your lives ?"

"Without any hesitation."

He and Fili were perfectly aware of the risks this quest had and they were ready to do anything to be at their uncle’s side. Elrond turned and placed both his hands on Kíli’s shoulders. "To tell the truth, I was going to ask you to stay here in Rivendell until… until this is over and you’d be able to return in safety to your kin." Growing more and more perplexed, Kíli began to play nervously with his sleeve. "It’s…really kind of you to be concerned with my health but… my place is next to my uncle. I appreciate your offer, but why are you so concerned for my brother and I?"

"Oh I wasn’t speaking of him, but of course if you wish, and that’s understandable giving the context, I will see no problem if he wants to stay with you." Kíli raised an eyebrow and escaped the hands on him. "Wha – What do you mean you were not speaking of him? Who else?"

"Well, of…" Elrond stopped and observed the prince before him. And suddenly he understood. The archer didn’t know. He inhaled deeply and asked, "Young Kíli, didn’t you notice some different things lately? "

"About what? I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can’t see what you mean…"

"About you."

The brunet began to feel very uncomfortable and wished for only one thing: to run, run as far as he could away from that elf and hide in his brother’s arms. He didn’t want to know what those words meant, but curiosity made him ask in a small voice "Me? No, nothing, why? What should have I noticed?"

"When I said both your lives, I was thinking of you, Kíli, but also… of the life growing in your belly."

Kíli’s eyes widened in shock and his heart missed a beat. He stood there, speechless and dismayed before bursting into laughter. "I’ve heard that some elves liked playing pranks but I didn’t think Lord Elrond himself could be one of them!"

Elrond stared with concerned eyes at the young dwarf. His eyes were extremely serious. That’s how Kíli understood that the elf was not joking. Panic and incomprehension began to rush through him and his body appeared to shake violently. "But that’s impossible!" he yelled, "I can’t bear a child! That’s physically impossible! I’m a male, a warrior! Not a lady!"

"Yes, it’s normally impossible, but some extremely rare males dwarves were provided with a gift on the day of their birth. It’s quite unusual, so unusual that many ignore it. Since your kin almost disappeared due to a lack of females, some lucky males were granted the physical capacities to give birth."

The brunet laughed nervously and shook his head with horror. "No. No, no, no. That isn’t possible… I’m sorry but you must be mistaken. Th…That’s impossible," he repeated, ready to fell apart.

Kili closed his eyes and began to breathe deeply to find a steady cardiac rhythm. He repeated the exercise several times and managed to find some composure. Finally he turned his defiant dark eyes to the elf. "You have no proof."

"Young dwarf, you should not forget that I am an elf. Our magic allows us to feel things like this. Even if you don’t believe me, please, let me take you to one of my healers. Or to Gandalf."

"There is no need for that. There is nothing to be proved!" The archer shouted, taking a step back.

"If you are so sure there is no child, come with me because in this case you have nothing to be afraid of. If I’m wrong I promise I will apologize to you."

Once again Kíli shook his head and laughed with disdain. That was impossible. He knew it. But he needed to shut the mouth of this presumptuous elf. "Deal. Soon you will admit your mistakes."

He was sure of himself. After all, even if he could admit male dwarves could bear children, he, Kíli, was a Prince, a warrior. Not a weak dwarf unable to protect himself. He didn’t even look like a female, did he? He could understand if a dwarf like Ori was one of the bearers. The scribe was peaceful, sensible, a literary person, cautious, gentle, sensitive… But though he was, he still had uses beyond taking care of a baby. Despite his last thought, Kíli’s right hand brushed unconsciously against his stomach.

Lord Elrond led him to a room where they would not be disturbed and sent someone to fetch Gandalf and Meledril, a healer known for his medicinal talent, but also for his empathy. Though it took several long minutes to convince him, Kíli lay down on a couch. The elf asked him to lift his tunic to reveal his belly but it just made him protest vigorously again. "This is ridiculous! Gandalf, please! You have to tell them that it’s ridiculous!"

The brunet looked for the wizard’s eyes in the hope of finding some kind of support, but the wizard avoided Kíli’s gaze and just made an indistinct noise. "Let them try it if it pleases them, my young friend."

The grey wizard took his pipe to his mouth while Kíli grumbled angrily. "It’s ridiculous!"

Breathing heavily with exasperation he let himself fall against the pillows and lift his tunic. Kíli jumped with surprise when gentle hands spread some cold liquid on his skin. He cursed the elves while Meledril ignored him and ran his hands around his belly. His magic and his empathy, helped by the liquid, allowed him to feel waves emanating from the dwarf’s belly. He stayed like that for a few minutes and just when Kíli was going to shoo him, Meledril opened his eyes.

"It is true. You bear life. I can feel it."

At the words, Kíli began to feel rage growing inside him. How could this stupid healer know that? He had barely touched him! He had no proof to say that. This was just a big misunderstanding. Or a nightmare and he would wake soon, find Fíli next to him and hide in his arms.

"No! This is rubbish! I have no idea why I let a stupid elf molest me !"

"I can prove it.,” the healer answered calmly.

"There is nothing to prove!" Kíli tried to stand but the elf didn’t let him and pressed his left palm against the archer’s belly while two fingers were put against his temple. The healer closed his eyes and intoned Elvish words. A little wave like electricity went through his body and Kíli fell on the couch again. The elf kept in contact with his stomach and after a minute he stopped whispering. Panting and tired by the effort he let himself fall against the couch. The brunet opened his eyes and both fear and shock could be read in his pupils.

"No," he panted, "that’s – impossible."

And yet, he saw it. He saw the proof. Without knowing what kind of magic it was, he could feel it. Almost see it. Lord Elrond helped Meledril to sit down while Gandalf watched absently, lost in his thought. So Elrond had been right. The Prince would perpetuate the lineage of Durin.

"Ho – how much time?" Kíli asked in a breath, unable to speak a full sentence. "I’d say approximately five months," the healer answered, trying to find a proper breath.

The entire world fell around the archer. He couldn’t believe what had happened to him. He couldn’t accept it. Panic and hatred shot through his body again. He stood violently and shouted, "Take it out! Please! Take it out of me "

"Kíli, my young friend, please calm down," the wizard tried. "NO! I will not! Not until you take this thing out of me!"

Gandalf finally returned to himself and took the archer’s shoulders. He knelt before him to look in his eyes. "You should take some more time to think about it! This is not a decision to take lightly. Furthermore, I think the other… father has the right to know. Having a newborn is not something every dwarf is blessed with. Maybe he would be happy to have this luck."

Those words shocked the brunet and put fear in his mind. The other father?! No! Impossible! He couldn’t tell him. It would break them!

"I – I’m sorry Gandalf, but I can’t do this… This… thing must be taken out of my body!"

"You’re being selfish, young dwarf! Think for just a moment of what your lover could want."

Suddenly heavy with tiredness, Kíli’s arms fell against his body. Dispair coursed through his body. Of course having children would not be something that would displease his lover. But not with him. Not this way.

"I can’t," he whispered, "he will hate me. He will reject me. He’ll find me weird… he’ll be ashamed of me! And think of it, Gandalf, I’m a Prince. What will people think of it? Of – us?"

"Don’t say that. This –" he said, placing a hand on the young dwarf’s belly "this is a gift Mahal gave you. How could your lover possibly –" "You don’t understand!" Kíli yelled, yanking the hand away before he lowered his head in shame and pain, "you don’t understand. I can’t. We can’t." He shook his head sadly. "Not with him - not with me - "

Gandalf watched his young friend attentively and squeezed the archer’s shoulders with compassion. He actually understood what the brunet dwarf felt. It must not be simple for someone like him, a Prince, a warrior, to admit that his body could suddenly bear allow a life to grow within it. He was educated like a warrior, like a Prince. He was a dwarf for action, strategy, battles and even government one day. Gandalf could perfectly understand why Kíli felt ashamed and afraid. This pregnancy would turn his whole world upside down. It would show to all that the young second heir of Durin preferred dwarves that were the same sex as him. Though this behavior was accepted among the race, it was not something expected from a dwarf of a high social class. They had to provide heirs to respect traditions and perpetuate the lineage with a noble family. And with luck – or not – Kíli could do this without the help of a lady dwarf.

But of course Thorin was very respectful of traditions. There was not much chance he would accept his nephew’s pregnancy.  
Finally the wizard asked the brunet with a gentle voice, "Kíli… who is the genitor?" 

The brunet raised his head slowly and turned his dark hurt eyes to Gandalf’s blue gentle ones. "Fíli. Fíli is the father."


	2. If only he knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ A big thank you to Legolaslover1 for correcting me ! I really think she's amazing ! :)

Silence fell in the room as Kíli fell on the couch again. He took his head in his hands and tore some hair from his scalp with the strength of his grip. He was convinced his brother would never accept this news. And not to mention his uncle. It was too weird. Kíli was even disgusted by himself.

Mahal, he was a warrior! The worst part was that this thing which now infected his body was proof the two princes were having a more than brotherly bond. A carnal relationship. Nobody could or would ever understand.

They were supposed to inherit the throne after their uncle. Kíli knew Thorin was aware of their relationship but he also knew that he probably allowed it just because they were discrete and not destined to rule for some years. There was still plenty of time before Fíli would be crowned.

There was no doubt in Kíli’s mind that if Thorin were to find out about something this unbelievable, he would separate them. The compilation of so many elements made Kíli unable to accept what was happening to him.

Devastated, the young prince whispered, “I’m begging you… Help me. I can’t let it happen. It will destroy us… tell me how to stop that – please!”

Gandalf didn’t answer, too deeply lost in his thoughts and so Elrond took the initiative to say “We elves believe that nothing happens by coincidence. If Mahal gave you and your brother this gift – as strange as it could be – I’m sure this it for good reason.”

Kíli didn’t say anything and shook his head. He turned to the healer, hoping the elf would feel his agony and help him.

“Male's pregnancies last longer than females'. Eleven or twelve months. Despite your special disposition, you do not have the real equipment to give birth with. You will have a longer pregnancy. Yours is already in its fifth or sixth month… Removing it will not be an easy and painless thing to do.”

“I don’t care. I’m ready to endure whatever is needed to cure me.” The determined brunet answered.

“You really should think about it, young prince. You have the potential to give an heir to your family.” Elrond said solemnly.

“Please,” Kíli begged, exhaustedly closing his eyes. A lot of emotions had hit him in a short lapse of time and he was devastated, emptied of all strength.

“I fear producing this kind of potion will take some time,” Meledril informed him.

Gandalf suddenly seemed to awaken and said “Good. Very good. Kíli, my dear young friend, you will take this time to think one last time and possibly speak to your brother. If you haven’t changed your mind after that, the elves will give you what you wish.”

“I will not change my mind. Please don’t say anything to the others, especially to my uncle or Fíli.”

“I will not. But I’m an old man, you know. Sometimes things can escape an old man’s mouth when he is distracted…”

If Kíli’s eyes could send daggers, Gandalf would have been killed by thousands of them. Kili was about to say something but the intimidating wizard’s glare made him turn and walk out, furiously slamming the door behind him.

Elrond turned to look at the wizard “Why did you so easily accept giving him the antidote? It’s an incredible opportunity that is being offered to him. Who knows if they will have it again?”

“Making him keep the child by force would make no sense. And I have an intuition.” Gandalf answered mysteriously.

“What kind of intuition, Mithrandir?”

“I have no idea, yet…”

...

The company stayed in Rivendell for ten days. Thorin was not particularly happy with this prolongation but the company was enjoying themselves and it was obvious that they needed more rest. So when Elrond proposed for them to stay he just kept his feeling to himself and accepted the offer.

The day before their departure Elrond had discretely contacted Kíli. Just like he had expected, the archer hadn’t changed his mind. The healer had started to prepare the potion. There were three vials to take, each a week apart.

Deciding not to wait, Kíli had immediately escaped to take the first and that why he was now striding through Rivendell by night, looking for an isolated place. Finally he found a little garden with access only through a small stone bridge. He decided to stop behind a tree and then gently pulled the first vial out of his tunic.

Helped by the moonlight he looked at the liquid curiously and suspiciously. He didn’t want to drink something made by an elf but he had no choice. He had to do it.

For Fíli.

For their love. Because he was sure Fíli would be scandalized. He took his courage and drank in one fluid gulp.

The raspy liquid burnt his tongue then his throat as it begun to flow within him. The flask escaped his fingers and smashed on the floor. In a hoarse howl of both pain and surprise, Kíli joined the fragments on the floor, a stabbing pain coursing through his stomach. It felt like a hundred sharp blades were crashing inside him. With some difficulty he managed to contain or at least stifle the cries of pain that wanted to cross his lips. He finally curled on the ground, arms tightened around his belly. He remained on the cold stone floor, unable to think about anything else but the pain and the agony that was in his belly.

He did not know how much time he had spent on the ground but when he was able to think properly, the tears of pain had already begun to dry on his cheeks. With his stomach hurting less he stood up quickly. He still felt pain but it was nothing compared with what he had just experienced. Never before had he felt such a pain. It made him fear the two next vials but didn’t discourage him.

After having hidden the broken glass he crossed the bridge and went down quickly to a small square. There he found a fountain and gathered water in his palm with great relief. The archer splashed his still burning face and neck with fresh water, enjoying the fresh air caressing his wet skin.

He then cleaned his skin from tears. When the reflection of the water stilled, the brunet glanced at his image. The moonlight made him looked pale and tired. Taking this first potion had taken all his strength away. But he didn’t regret it. Two more times and he would be rid of this curse. Rid of this horror that was trying to destroy everything he had worked for since he was a little child. But above all, rid him of the thing that was trying to separate him from his brother.

From his life.

He sat on the edge of the fountain and waited for some time, trying to put a peaceful expression on his face. He then got up and went to find the room where the company used to eat each evening. Tonight was their last night in Rivendell and Kíli knew the others had probably already begun to eat. Before entering the room he managed to put a casual smile on his face. Just as he entered in the room he noticed the meal had not yet arrived. He immediately noticed the worried look of his brother sitting alone in a corner and smoking his pipe nervously. Kíli quickly joined him.

“Kíli!” Fíli said angrily even though anxiety and relief were dominating his voice, “Where were you? I looked for you the entire evening!”

“You had no reason to worry, we are safe here,” Kíli answered, instantly feeling better in his brother’s presence. “I just went for a walk.”

“A walk? Alone and for two hours?” The perplexed blonde asked. “You should have told me and I would have accompanied you.”

Fíli was surprised; his brother never had been the kind of dwarf to seek solitude.

“I just wanted to think alone, Fíli, it’s nothing to be worried about.”

“About what? Usually you tell me about everything that crosses your mind, even when it’s the apple you just ate.”

He chuckled, remembering something, before he added more seriously, “Kíli… I can see that something has been bothering you these last few days. You know you can talk to me like you always have.”

How much Kíli wished he could talk to his brother. But he couldn’t.

“It’s nothing,” the brunet said coldly to make Fíli stop asking him.

He immediately regretted his words and felt guilty when Fíli’s eyes filled with sadness.

“Please don’t take it like that, Fee. It’s just – I was thinking of the quest. Of the fights. I don’t want to lose you.”

It was not entirely a lie for he really was afraid of losing him. Fíli’s eyes softened and he reached out to take his brother’s hand.

“Kíli, you will never lose me, okay? Nothing will ever separate us. I promise.”

Kíli grimaced internally… “ _If only you knew_ ,” he thought.

Fíli cast a quick glance over his shoulder. When he was sure nobody was paying attention to them, he leaned and pressed his lips quickly against Kili’s, the brunet sighing with relief and happiness. Fíli then pulled him into a brotherly hug. If no one had noticed the quick kiss, none saw anything wrong with the fraternal embrace.

After their meal and before they all returned to their bedrooms, the company settled in a big living room. Some moved away discussing things together while others found a comfortable place to listen to Gandalf telling them different stories and legends. Kíli had settled on a couch just next to his brother, but soon his eyes heaved with exhaustion and he fell asleep against his brother’s shoulder. Later in the night, Thorin shook him gently to wake him. Most were already in bed. He and Fíli returned to their bedroom after having talked with their uncle about the next day.

This night like all the others, Fíli didn’t touch his bed and went directly to his brother’s. The blonde decided to tease his brother and kissed his jaw while his hand was lazily stroking the archer’s thigh, but for the first time Kíli didn’t answer his brother’s caresses and the blonde quickly lost his teasing mood. Never before had Kíli remained indifferent to his touch. Worried about what he had done to bother Kíli, Fíli fell on his back just behind the archer who was lying on his side with his back to the blonde. Kíli would have wanted to do whatever Fíli wanted. He wanted so badly to spend the night in his lover’s arms. But he felt sick. The antidote he had taken earlier was still making him nauseous.

Finally, Fíli put a hand on the brunet’s shoulder and drew him closer so that he could lie on his back. But his hand met resistance and Kíli stayed where he was. Hurt, Fíli asked with an annoyed voice, “Kíli? What is it? Why are you being so cold with me?” unsure, his voice shook, “Did I bother you?”

“No. It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

Fíli felt a cold hand grasp his heart. For some days now, Kíli had been particularly distant. Had he hurt him? Or maybe… maybe Kíli didn’t want to be his lover anymore. Fíli tried not to let his voice falter when he sadly whispered, “If – if you want for – for us to become only brothers again – just tell me – I will not blame you – I…” Shocked that Fíli could believe something like this, Kíli fought against his nausea and turned. He quickly cuddled against his brother, burying his nose in his neck and soft blond hair.

“Don’t ever say that again,” he whispered “Please don’t you dare imagine I could think something like that. I need you far too much.”

“As I need you, little brother. _Atamanel_.” He kissed his brow. “But what is torturing you this much? Ever since we have been here you’ve been… different. Either you are literally throwing yourself into my arms or you are rejecting me!”

“I don’t know,” Kíli lied. “Maybe it’s the elves. Maybe their magic is affecting me?”

Fíli was not really convinced, but he didn’t want to argue with him so he said nothing and nuzzled his nose against his brother’s.

“Perhaps.” He sighed, “It’s about time we leave this place.” Feeling like teasing again he added, “Furthermore I have the impression that you are lacking exercise.” Surprised, Kíli got on his elbows and shot a stunned look at his brother “Wha - What do you mean?”

Seeing the reaction his teasing had had on his brother, Fíli answered quickly and reassuringly “Hey, don’t worry. I just wanted to say that I noticed you’ve particularly enjoyed the elves’ food. It’s nothing to be worried about, Kee. After two days on the road we’ll have nothing to eat again and you will be able to be proud again of your flat and muscular stomach.”

Kíli blinked and blushed furiously “You- you think I gained weight?”

“Well just a little, nothing too big…” The blond gently pulled his brother against him and let his hand slide under his brother’s night tunic. “Nothing unpleasant.” He tenderly stroked the warm and soft skin under his fingers. “You’re usually so skinny. I like having this small bulge when I make love to you - Well, when you let me touch you.”

Kíli didn’t react immediately, frozen by the feeling of the gentle hand stroking his belly.

His belly?

Afraid his brother would discover his secret; he suddenly came back to himself and yanked the hand away. He readjusted his tunic and moved closer to Fíli to reduce all kind of space between them that could allow a hand to have its way with him.

“Don’t get used to it,” he growled, “soon it will be flat again.”

Yes, in a few days he would drink the other potions and the thing growing inside him would only remain as a bad memory.

“And I'm not so skinny,” Kíli pouted.

Unaware of what he just had touched and what he was about to lose, Fíli laughed and kissed his brother’s head. Still teasing, he rolled and placed himself above Kíli, bending to nibble and kiss the brunet’s neck, then his jaw and his lips. He then spread himself on top of the brunet, almost completely stretching over him. He buried his head in the crook of Kíli’s neck and wrapped his arms around him. Embarrassed with the idea of his brother coming in direct contact with his stomach, Kíli squirmed with the intention of disentangling himself from the grasp but he gave up, knowing he would probably hurt his brother’s feelings more by rejecting him again.

Resting comfortably against his brother's body with his eyes closed, Fili hummed, suddenly close to sleep, “It’s true you aren’t that skinny. But you’re still slender. I think you look irresistible like this.”

He gently kissed his lover’s neck when Kili simply tangled his fingers into his brother’s blond hair and didn’t answer. If only he knew.

Eventually they both fell asleep in that position.


	3. Bad berries

During the last night they spent in Rivendell, Fíli had a strange dream. Or maybe it was more something like a feeling. In his dream, he felt something kicking him. Not the kind of kick that hurt but the kind that was almost imperceptible.

Little by little he awakened and opened his sleepy eyes. He somehow noticed he was still spread on top of his little brother. Fíli smiled gently and brushed a dark strand away from Kíli’s face. He thought there was no image more beautiful and sweet than this one. The one of his gorgeous little brother in a peaceful sleep, lips barely opened, hair spread like a halo around his head and pale skin bathed in the moonlight.

Careful not to wake him, Fíli tenderly pressed his lips against Kíli’s and curled next to him. He buried his face in the brunet’s neck and soft hair and then wrapped an arm protectively around his waist.

His dream completely forgotten, he drifted back asleep.

* * *

 

The company had been on the road again for one week now. The evening the air was cool and the night was beginning to fall upon them. As they were settling into camp Kíli asked Thorin discretely if he could go hunting. Because they were running out of provisions, his uncle approved and after Kíli refused Fíli’s offer to join him, he was finally alone, deep in the forest. When he thought he was far enough from the camp, he took a deep breath and drank the vial without any hesitation.

Immediately his stomach began to burn and, groaning, he fell on the ground, unable to move without causing a sharp pain and burning through all his nerves and limbs. As minutes passed Kíli’s skin became drenched in sweat and his body began to shake violently. He grasped his stomach more tightly, breathing hard through gritted teeth and then suddenly, without warning, he threw up, and again and again, amplifying the fire in his belly more fiercely each time his body tensed. The fire was still unbearable and burning inside him when he heard distant voices. Despite the drums throbbing in his head he managed to recognize his name. 

He opened his mouth to whimper a _no_ but a pained whine took its place.

He didn’t want the others to find him. Not now. He had not thought the second potion could be worst than the first. He had even hoped it would have been easier and quicker. But he had been wrong.

The shouts were becoming louder so he managed to stand up, though not without pain and difficulties. He stumbled a few meters before falling again with a cry of agony.

Slowly, Kili crawled to a tree and kept one arm around his belly while he leaned against it to stand up again. Bilbo and Bofur chose that moment to walk out of the bushes. They saw him and ran to him, fearing the prince was gravely injured.

_“Kíli!”_

Leaning against the tree, Kíli was ready to collapse. He grumbled, barely aware of his friends.

His vision was blurry and he couldn't distinguish who had caught him, preventing him from falling down. His head was heavy so he let it fell on the shoulder in front of him.

Bofur took the prince’s head between his hands and tried to catch his eyes, “Kíli? By Mahal’s beard… Kíli are you hurt?”

“No,” the archer panted, “no, I – I’m fine – I – _Aaaah_!”

A new burning wave rushed through him and Bilbo finally went to help the toy maker support the prince. He placed himself on Kíli’s side and slipped an arm around the archer’s waist while Bofur did the same on the other side.

 “No,” Kíli protested, understanding that they were bringing him back to the camp, “please, I –“ he gritted his teeth, preventing another cry from passing between his lips. “Please! I want to stay here!” He begged.

“But you can’t stay here,” Bilbo said, “You will be better on a bedroll and next to a fire”

“No, please,” Kíli begged, shaking his head feverishly and struggling weakly, “No, stop!”

“Everything’s alright, Kíli,” Bofur tried to reassure him, “but you need to see Oin.”

The brunet struggled more fervently but only managed to hurt himself more.

“I think Bofur is right; you need to be taken care of.” Bilbo tried to convince him.

“NO!”

Fearing Oin would find out his secret, Kíli was suddenly filled with adrenaline and found the strength to reject his friends and get away from their grip.

But unfortunately it caused him to cry out as his stomach protested painfully against the movement.

Kíli fell on his knees; he couldn’t bear this much pain. He slowly started to fall to the side and dark points began to appear behind his eyes.

Just before his glassy eyes closed and he became unconscious, he murmured an almost imperceptible, _“forgive me Fíli”_ and then collapsed on the ground.

With fear on their faces, Bilbo and Bofur shared a look of incomprehension and shock.

Bofur walked near the unconscious body and kneeled, shaking his head sadly. At least Kíli was not suffering anymore.

“What are you on, lad?” he muttered to himself, guessing the young prince was hiding something.

The Hobbit joined Bofur and knelt in front of a sweating Kíli, “What is happening to him? What are we going to do now?”

“I believe something serious is happening between our two princes…”

“Between Fíli and Kíli? But – but they get along so well! Really well!” Bilbo said, thinking of all the times he caught the two brothers being particularly close. “But what is the link with what is happening to Kíli?”

“I don’t know…”

Silence settled before the Hobbit said resolutely, “We can’t leave him here. We need to take him to Oin.”

“Yes you’re right, master burglar. We will carry him to the camp.”

The Hobbit helped Bofur place Kíli on his shoulder and they walk to the clearing where their camp was.

When they arrived, only Gloin and Oin were there, having stayed to watch over the camp.

When they saw Bofur and his precious burden they ran to him and helped him lay Kíli down on his bedroll.

“What happened?” Gloin asked, eyes wide open.

“When we found him, he was leaning against a tree and clutching his belly tightly like he was in pain… He protested, saying he was alright but it was obvious he was really suffering like Mahal himself was torturing him… when we tried to bring him back he struggled and fainted!”

“Oin, can you do something?” Asked a very worried Bilbo.

But just before the healer could answer they heard a scream and saw Fíli running to them with the most anxious expression on his face they had never witnessed.

“Kíli!”

He pushed the others away and leaned on his brother, his ear against Kíli’s mouth, hoping for a breath.

“What happened?!” He asked, panicked.

He didn’t wait for the answer before leaning in again, touching his brother to find anything that could explain his state along with anything proving he was still alive. Finally he knelt and put his brother’s head on his lap, caressing his dark hair desperately.

“Calm down lad, he’s just unconscious.”

“Just unconscious? Did you see him?! He has fever!”

“Yes, that’s why you must let Oin examine him!”

Fíli took a deep breath, trying not to yell at anybody and closed his eyes. Finally, he nodded and the older dwarf was finally able to look at Kili.

“Kíli… Kíli, what have you done baby brother… Oin! What does he have?”

The older dwarf had no great medical knowledge about pregnancy, so he didn’t notice that the young archer was bearing life.

After checking twice, he didn’t find anything abnormal and simply concluded he was unconscious but in no danger.

He could do nothing but draw conclusions from what he had heard from Bofur and Bilbo.

“I don’t know,” he murmured, frustrated, “I can’t be sure…stomachache… maybe intoxication? We will know better when he wakes up but until then let him rest. When he wakes he will probably feel better. The fever that was consuming him when Bofur and Bilbo brought him back seems to have lowered already... He is out of danger.”

Little by little the others arrived and Thorin immediately ran to his nephews when he saw them on the floor, Kíli lying motionless on Fíli’s lap.

He was told the situation and began to relax when he noticed Kíli was still breathing and seemed only to be asleep tucked in the furs he had been wrapped in.

“How is he now?” He asked Fíli with a gentle but anxiety-filled voice.

“I don’t know… better, I guess…. Oin thinks it’s intoxication but… I don’t know…”

“Oin said there is no point fretting and that he is out of danger. You should rest, Fíli.”

“No, I don’t want to sleep! What if he wakes and I’m not here?”

“I’ll watch over him, over both of you, and I promise to wake you if he opens his eyes.”

Fíli glanced between his uncle and his brother hesitantly but then felt the weight of his exhaustion pressing him down.

Capitulating, he nodded and lay down next to his brother, lacing his fingers with Kíli’s and immediately falling asleep.

Thorin watched his dear nephews tangled together and sighed. Had he made a mistake by taking them on this quest? They were so young, barely adults. Thorin hoped more than anything he would succeed in watching over them.

The next morning Thorin hadn’t slept just like he promised Fíli. He didn’t have to wake his heir because Kíli began stirring slowly and upon feeling his brother’s movements, the blond awoke immediately, just before the brunet opened his eyes.

Fíli leaned over his brother and moved a strand out of his face, “Kíli” he whispered tenderly, stroking his cheek.

Upon gradually recovering consciousness, the brunet immediately remembered the events of the previous day and worried that his secret had been discovered causing him to sit down abruptly.

“Shhh don’t worry, everything’s alright Sannadadith.”

Fíli sat too and slipped an arm around his brother’s trembling shoulders. Kíli fell against his brother’s chest, letting Fíli put him in a reassuring and warm embrace.

“I’m sorry Fíli… I -” Kíli whispered with a broken voice but he didn’t have the time to finish what he was going to say. “Sorry for what? You silly dwarf!” Fíli nuzzled against the dark hair he loved so much, “for having been poisoned? Don’t be stupid.”

“An – an intoxication?” Kíli blinked, stunned.

Once again Kili sat up straight, looking at his brother and his uncle. Neither seemed disgusted or disappointed with him. Was it possible that ... his secret was still intact? Poisoning? That was all they found? In a sense it was not wrong ... he had indeed ingested something that had made him sick.

Thorin cleared his throat and said, “Oin thinks you ate something that made you ill but no one else has felt pain...”

“Yes - yes! Intoxication! That’s it! I was hungry and… and I found these… berries! I couldn’t resist and I ate some … this definitely must be the berries.” The young dwarf said quickly, hoping nobody would notice his lies.

“You don’t know how to recognize good and bad berries anymore?” Thorin asked, astonished and raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

“It was dark!” The archer defended himself.

He knew he was passing for a fool but his priority was to keep his secret hidden.

A tangible silence settled but to Kili’s great relief, Bombur who had just arrived and heard the end of his twisted explanation broke the silence with his hearty laugh, “My lad, it seems I have some basics to teach you!”

Bombur's remark had the effect of relaxing the atmosphere a bit and everyone finally returned to his previous occupation.

 Fili helped Kili to get up and then do his packing which exasperated the younger, “Fili, I'm fine, I don’t need to be mothered because of some small berries!”

Fili approached him and placed his hands on the brunet’s shoulders, staring strangely at him, “Kili, I know you. I know you would never make a mistake like that. I do not know what is wrong with you right now, but please, don’t shut me out! No matter what is it you can tell me! I see something is destroying you and it makes me sick to not be able to alleviate your suffering. I'm your big brother, no matter what is bothering you I will not judge you. Let me help you!”

Kili stared at him for a moment, suddenly ready to confess everything, ready to abandon the burden and reveal everything to his big brother. But his mouth remained closed. Fili had said it himself. He was his brother and he, Kili, was carrying his child. Fili would be horrified, and disgusted. He would not ever want to see him again and Kili would die because of it.

No, he had to hold on, again, just for another flask, and everything would be like it always had been.

“Don’t worry, Fili. Believe me, I'm fine. And I promise that everything will be better in a few days. It’s true I’m tired, but that's all. There is nothing else. I'll soon get over it and then everything will be as it was before.”

They fixed eyes on each other for some time before Fili finally abdicated and sighed, “It’s difficult to believe you but…okay. I don’t want to fight against you, Kili so it’s okay. If you tell me it will get better I will believe you. But do not forget: you are everything to me, so no matter what is tormenting you, I can help you. If you change your mind ... I'll be here.”

Fili squeezed his lover’s hand and turned to go finish his own packing.

Kili sighed and closed his eyes. Yes it would be better. As soon as could, he would take the last potion and he would be free from his curse.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, once again I accept all kind of critics to help to improve myself…


End file.
